Marriage counseling, also known as “couples counseling”, is a type of therapy focused on improving the marital or couples relationship by resolving conflict, improving communication, and provide a more peaceful, loving relationship. A therapist may be helpful during times of crisis, as well as during times when your relationship feels like it’s just not where it should be. Both individuals will gain insight into their own lives, as well as the role of their relationship. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways.
Marriage counseling is often short term. Marriage counseling typically includes both partners, but sometimes one partner chooses to work with a therapist alone. The specific treatment plan depends on the situation.
Why it’s done
Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships — regardless of sexual orientation or marriage status. Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their partnership and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. Premarital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.
In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship.
You can use marriage counseling to help with many specific issues, including:
•Conflicts about child rearing or blended families
Marriage counseling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. If violence has escalated to the point that you’re afraid, however, counseling alone isn’t adequate. Contact the police or our crisis services program for emergency support.
What you can expect
Marriage counseling typically brings couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions. Working with a therapist, you’ll learn skills to solidify your relationship, such as:
•How to discuss differences rationally
•You’ll talk about the good and bad parts of your relationship as you pinpoint and better understand the sources of your conflicts. Together you’ll learn how to identify problems without blame and instead examine how things can be improved.
Things to keep in mind:
It might be hard to talk about your problems with the counselor. Sessions might pass in silence as you and your partner remain angry over perceived wrongs — or you might yell or argue during sessions. Both are OK. Your therapist can act as a referee and help you cope with the resulting emotions.
You can go by yourself. If your partner refuses to attend marriage counseling sessions, you can still attend. It’s more challenging to mend a relationship this way, but you can benefit by learning more about your reactions and behavior.
Therapy is often short term. Some people need only a few sessions of marriage counseling, while others need it for several months. The specific treatment plan will depend on your situation. Sometimes, marriage counseling helps couples discover that their differences truly are irreconcilable and that it’s best to end the relationship. Sessions can then focus on skills for ending the relationship on good terms.You might have homework. Your counselor might suggest communication exercises at home to help you practice what you’ve learned during your session. For example, talking face-to-face to with your partner for a few minutes every day about nonstressful things — without any interruptions from TVs, phones or children.
You or your partner might need additional care. If one of you is coping with mental illness, substance abuse or other issues, your therapist might work with other health care providers to provide more complete treatment.
Making the decision to go to marriage counseling can be tough. If you have a troubled relationship, however, seeking help is more effective than ignoring your problems or hoping they get better on their own. Sometimes taking the first step by admitting the relationship needs help is the hardest part. Most individuals find the experience to be insightful and empowering.